Before I write the next post about our exploits, which have been legendary but also mundane, I’m writing this, which I’ve written about 10 times in my head but never have committed to pixels.
Medical marijuana systems, and the term “medical marijuana” itself, deserve some light mockery. It’s true. It’s legalization-lite, i.e. a mechanism for legal weed for organized people who can spare a couple hundred dollars a year (probably a lot less than you spend on pot). In Pennsylvania, at least, anyone who wants a card can easily request it, for just about any ailment (e.g. sleeplessness, stress). I wouldn’t be surprised if there are doctors who say no to some requests, but I don’t think mine does (to be clear this is not my regular physician, but a pain specialist). He takes it seriously–he’s a pain doctor who told me “Cannabis is not really good for pain” and asked real questions about my condition. It’s more that he doesn’t care if someone uses weed responsibly and healthfully (e.g. his office advises firmly against smoking), so why wouldn’t he give you a card? He’ll make sure your experience is most helpful, but I don’t think he’s ever going to say “stop using” if I never raise any concerns (PA requires a yearly visit). Once you get the card, you’re home free.
So the truth is, I used to make fun of the idea of medical marijuana overall. I didn’t think we were really talking about medicine, we were all just going along with that spin so that we could get weed in a socially acceptable way and without getting into legal trouble. And the way I used weed 30 years ago was not healthful, which colored my thinking for a long time. I smoked it, which is bad for you, but more importantly I thought of it as rebellion, and then as a pathetic kind of childish rebellion, and it’s not really any kind of rebellion and that self-deceit or self-criticism is bad for your head. So I guess I came into this thinking “no, maybe it helps with certain physical conditions, but it’s never going to be good for you.”
Now, however, I’m a convert: there are real benefits to using marijuana. First of all, it does help with my condition. Probably, something like meditation would help too (it’s a stress-related condition), but to do that well would be more work and committing to that work is a lot harder than taking weed. Second, the way I’m using it now is free of any stigma (I’m sure there are many people who’d frown upon it, but I wouldn’t feel their criticism) so it’s free of the negative mental effects. Third, it’s genuinely helpful in many other ways that also help relieve my stress:
* I have even better sex with my wife than ever (and we always had great sex)
* I party at home, so there’s no driving etc.
* I am more committed to my wife than ever (we’re at 20+ years together)
* I get high without getting paranoid (which used to be a regular occurrence, and was why I stopped using for 20 years), which just feels good. It’s good to feel good sometimes.
Sorry, this was going to be another bullet point but it needs it’s own paragraph: I have genuinely good ideas about how to solve people problems at work while I’m high. Now, sometimes I think of something that was kind of obvious in retrospect, and I want to act on it right away (but I’m not sending that email at 2am), so it can be a little stressful in the moment. But’s it’s an excitement kind of stress, not an anxiety kind of stress, first of all. And it goes away as soon as we start touching each other again. Also, it can feel a little bit bad, momentarily, that I’m thinking about work instead of the goddess/succubus in bed with me. But that goes away as soon as we start touching again. And the longer-term impact is that I actually solve people problems at work, which is huge when it comes to my overall stress levels, because honestly work is why I’m stressed. I don’t think this clear thinking is caused directly by the marijuana. I think it’s caused by thinking, i.e. giving myself a little time to let my mind wander. That’s hard to do sometimes–but when I’m high and in that 10-minute lull before I can get hard again, it’s easy.
So. even in states where it’s just legal, I still think marijuana has medical value. In fact I think there’s something to talking about your doctor about your marijuana use that makes it work better (by the way, my regular physician is in support of this, and I talk to her about it too, not just my marijuana doctor). Finally, I’m a grown-up now and I don’t use it when I shouldn’t. I use it only to be better connected to my wife. It’s totally wholesome.
That’s enough for this post.