Well, at least the August of Tri-mix. Have you heard of it? Apparently it has been around longer than viagra and its kin. You shoot up your penis (skin popping–avoid veins) with a mix of three drugs. Here’s how ChatGPT describes them:
Alprostadil (Prostaglandin E₁)
The best-known ED drug in the mix. Relaxes smooth muscle and dilates arteries in the penis, increasing blood flow. It’s the ingredient most associated with the occasional penile aching that some men experience.
Papaverine
An older vasodilator and smooth muscle relaxant. Helps keep the erectile tissue relaxed so it can fill with blood. Used alone historically, but now more commonly as part of combinations.
Phentolamine
An alpha-adrenergic blocker. Blocks the nerve signals that normally tell blood vessels to constrict. This helps keep blood flowing into the penis and helps maintain the erection.
The reason nobody has ever heard of them is twofold: 1) Viagra was an FDA-approved drug that had TV ads and regular family doctors prescribing it. Those ads didn’t say “we already have something better” and those doctors didn’t tell people there was a shot. 2) You have to inject them–they don’t work orally. I guess a lot of guys think they don’t want to stick needles in their penises. People gotta loosen up!
I have to tell you about getting it. So I talked to my GP and confessed that I take way too much viagra and asked are there other options. He said you should see a urologist, do you know one? I said one investigated testicular pain for me 7 years ago, but shouldn’t I go to a sexual health specialist? He said see a regular one first. So I went to the testicle guy. Last time he held my cock and balls gently while turning them every which way to get a good look and feel. This time he stuck his finger up my ass! This appointment had nothing to do with my prostate, but sure, why not, it’s something you need to do whenever you get a chance, I guess.
He explained it all. I was pretty dumbfounded that these drugs existed, given that I’ve never heard of them and we all think viagra/vardenafil/tadalafil/whatahavayouafil are the only ED meds there are. So he explained you have to shoot up your penis and a lot of men don’t want to do that. He paused as if waiting for me to express hesitation, but I just said I’m not worried. Just so you know, it’s not that I’m an intravenous drug abuser. It’s that I had Hepatitis C back when the cure was worse than the disease (but only for 6 months and it doesn’t kill you) and I shot myself up with interferon for 6 months. Not in my penis but whatever, I got over the needle part of the anxiety and at my age my dick has suffered a lot more than a tiny little needle.
So then there are a couple tricks. First, it’s not an FDA-approved medication. The three drugs are all approved for various other things, but not for erections and not in combination. So you get it from compounding pharmacies. Second, they don’t know how much you need. So after you get it from the compounding pharmacy, you bring some of it and a needle back to the urologist’s office, where the 25 year-old physician’s assistant shows you how to stick a needle in your penis. She was a total pro. She went through the mechanics of it, the best places to shoot up, when to do it, everything about the meds (it comes in vials you keep frozen until you need them; but there are about 4 doses in a vial, so then you keep them in the fridge but only for a few days, then you throw them out), and the process for today’s appointment. Which was basically I’m going to watch you shoot up with the initial dose, then I’m going to leave for about 15 minutes. So I said wait, is it just mechanical? Like I’ll know it’s working because it just does? Desire isn’t necessary? And she said “Oh. Well, I’m going to leave and you’ll have privacy, and if you need to, you can do something.” Was she a total pro about watching me shoot up my dick but then squeamish about saying “masturbate?” I doubt it. I think more likely she didn’t want to suggest I do anything specific, so that I would feel OK with whatever I needed to do. I.e. in instructing me to do anything, I might feel constrained, or at least shy about doing something she hadn’t mentioned. Right? She gave me permission to do what I needed to do.
I didn’t think through that in the moment. What I thought was holy shit, a professional is telling me to masturbate for my own good! Alright! How often does a complete stranger know that you are actively masturbating and not call the police? (I donated sperm for money in college, so that counts, but that was the last time). How often have you freely jacked off in a doctor’s office? I mean I played it cool of course, but I knew it was gold for this blog and I was pretty psyched to get some free material. Then my dick got really hard so of course I was having fun so it only seemed like 3 minutes before she came back and I had a video going on my phone and my pants around my ankles. Knock knock hello? Oh, uh, just a sec … and I furiously stopped the video, which is always really hard to do in a rush, right? Getting videos to stop on your phone is way harder than it should be. I yanked my pants up over my massive hard-on and crap, my shirt is not covering that up. Oh well, nothing she hasn’t seen before. But I made sure to stop at a Wawa on the way home so more people could enjoy it.
Anyway, what you really want to know is, does it work? Oh yeah! The problem with Viagra is it does nothing for desire. It opens the gates, but desire creates the flood. Tri-mix pumps you up mechanically–it provides the flood. I stayed mostly rock-hard for 3 hours, minus a couple trips to the bathroom where I softened a little but stayed pretty much full-size. Desire still makes a difference; I think that explains the mild softness in the bathroom.
Generally, with Viagra, I’m pretty good until I come and then it’s often over. I mean, if it weren’t so late at night I’d probably do better. But there’s a catch-22. Desire comes easier when I’m hard. At some point of the night, even with Viagra, I won’t be able to get hard because I feel too little desire, and I won’t feel desire because I’m too soft and feel un-virile. This is psychological. My hardness feeds my sense of hot sex-god-ness. With tri-mix I’m expecting to escape that catch-22 because I was still hard–bathroom-level hard anyway–for 10ish minutes after coming. I fell asleep with a hard-on. That may not be interesting to you, but for me, I don’t know the last time it happened.
Summer has been odd. Basically it’s difficult to have kids back in the house, at least when it comes to having sex. You can’t make any noise. Don’t get me wrong, we feel complete having the family together and the kid we’re talking about is amazing–growing up and getting better and better all the time.
Tonight we have our first night alone for a while. Maybe I’ll report on it tomorrow.
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